I'm really into asian looking animals
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize