You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think your dad took our porno
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
