marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize