So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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