Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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