U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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