At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize