your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The power of my boobs compel you
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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