She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
