i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
