I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
