yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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