Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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