Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
