she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
