sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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