I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
