just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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