question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I want you more than these girls want KFC
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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