Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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