I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize