i think i have herpe
just one?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Text me some of your sweat
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
