i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
