Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
