Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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