You're completely useless in the revolution.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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