Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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