Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
