Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
