Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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