new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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