just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
