1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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