he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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