if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
