I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
