I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
