It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
