just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
