so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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