i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
