you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
