I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
