It's like God shit irony all over that family
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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