News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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