when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
