woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
