so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I got inside last night via doggy door
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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