So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
