She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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