he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
