I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize