i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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