i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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