im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
