I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
