Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
