I want to have your abortion
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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