I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize