I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize