hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
