Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I need to align my fucking chakras
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
