Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I enjoy the company of your penis
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
