ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
