Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
