went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i've created a new STD.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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