Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
