they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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