I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
