girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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