there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
